Trifecta

Imagine and Achieve, Dream and Become   (Paper 1: Hello, World)

Hello to all of you! To the people interested in the lives of those who hold high regard in our society, to the starstrucks and to those of you who rapidly flip through websites and magazines for the most recent updates of the “Gods”. Yes, if you are reading this, I’m referring to you. You love it, you love the drama, the good, the bad, the everything. You inhale celebridrama like an infamous Sprinkles cupcake. These websites feed your cravings for the mind. Some of you may think this blog is a lower level addition to blogs already existing about celebrities’ daily events. WARNING: IT IS NOT! This is similar yet a tad more intellectual, and after reading your daily dose you feel smarter, wittier, and all around celebrity savvy about important people in this country who started with little and built their way to an empire. The people determined to see their dreams come to reality. With a little help from talk-shows and comparable blogs, I am here to give you background of incredible individuals. I am here to demonstrate how they overcame struggles and went beyond the sole idea of stardom to obtain their goals. These people wanted more than a title, they wanted the satisfaction of being a meaningful person with a positive effect.

Have you ever gotten a parking ticket? Let me tell you, it sucks. On your car you see a little, white envelope resting beneath the windshield wiper. That is your parking violation. In the past, no one would know who, where or when someone received it. Now is an entirely different story. THANK GOD for TMZ, I know that Maria Shriver received a ticket, smiled at the cameras, and ran the next stop sign twenty feet ahead. All on video. Maybe she cared, but she was exposed as an ignorant wife of the Govenator with an “I don’t give a shit” persona. Paparazzi have invaded with a goal: Publically expose celebrities as people without morals or regard for consequence. The recent years of invasion give us even more insight to those who are constantly photographed, analyzed, criticized and scrutinized. It’s sad because Mrs. Shriver is actually a generous, heartfelt women. I’ve known her family for several years due to my father actually- (In case you don’t know, everyone from LA knows everyone in LA- It’s weird, but true. Through restaurants, businesses, friends of friends, you are all connected in the LA Bubble)- BUT to the rest of the television-watching youngsters of today, she is a bitch who doesn’t care about the law. The smallest things drive tabloid purchases, simply to read about the latest occurrences of “the hunted.” Why? Are we purchasing magazines to see if celebrities can do wrong? If they also gain weight? If they are cheated on, cheating on someone else, fighting, vacationing, living normal lives? We want to determine if they are super-humans or just simply humans.

In this game of photographs revealing what we think are 'the answers', the paparazzi are the prey, and the ones in the limelight are the unfortunate victims incapable of scurrying into the dark. The victims either hide or shine, depending how they want to be revealed. If a tiger escaped Cirque de Soleil, what do you suppose would happen? It would run and try to recapture life in its natural habitat to live as an animal should. In fear of past experience, it would try to escape the puppet lifestyle it lives by and find the place it can breathe without analysis or manipulation. Under the spotlight, actors, political figures and athletes don’t flinch in the wrong direction. Sometimes, however, a select few decide to take the road less traveled.

To start off this enjoyable five-month adventure, I would like to preface my point of view. No, I do not agree with celebrities committing crimes or gathering DUIs. Many know what happened between locked doors (cough fifteen locked doors), in November with Mr. Woods, yet want him to return to his career because he has talent. REALLY?? No offense, his shameful, degrading act should righteously put him out of his golfing business and family ties for years. YOU GO ELIN! I try to give an unbiased view now and then, yet I’ll most likely result to just giving my honest opinion. I find myself resembling a nice hybrid of talk show hosts: Chelsea Handler’s sarcasm, Ellen DeGeneres’ humor, and Dr. Phil’s sensitivity. I’m not going to be another paparazzi-esque figure bad-mouthing celebrities who just can’t get it together. This is for the good people who grabbed fame by the horns, and juiced their potential to its peak until it was dry. In the words of the wise William Arthur Ward, “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” They dreamt and achieved, imagined and became. From hosting charities, lending their help and building million-dollar empires, these are the people that fascinate me.

The Man, The Legend, The Illiterate Cuban   (Paper 2: Profile)

Everyone starts somewhere. Only a select few start at the top, and to be honest, it’s probably not you. Whether it starts with brewing complicated coffee orders at Starbucks or cleaning tables as a busboy, there are the average people who live their lives amongst many average people. It’s not glamorous- it’s just what it is. Though it seems hard, those minimum wagers do get by, minus the frivolous houses and flashy cars. Have you ever wondered if you’re life was significantly better? Not saying you should strive to become the next Picasso with your ‘art’ or the infamous Speidi– As information that would come from a soon-to-be-invented book “Celebrity Drama for Dummies”, Speidi is the equivalent of Spencer and Heidi Montag: the two people in Hollywood who became famous for, well, we’re not exactly sure why. But what if you could desert your situation and find that elegant, dreamy, stable life elsewhere?

When the tough gets going, people don’t want to deal with the tough and bail. Leaving your current situation for an easier outlet is generally seen as an unconventional, dangerous path that results in a moneyless situation and a bottomless pit of no answers nor back-up insurance plans. This why not many people take these types of risks. It’s like gambling in a casino where the odds are built to be against you. It’s just risky. On the other hand, there are some people that have faith and take the leap. And for even fewer, the leap turns out to be the million-dollar jackpot. One man gave it all up for a shot at victory. He had courage and endured strife as a gay publisher, trying to make a buck and a difference in East Coast publications. Not to be so cliché, but soon enough, his dream did come true and was appearing before his eyes on a computer screen.

His name is Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr., born and raised in Miami with Cuban parents and much to learn. He learned English once he attended school as an adolescent, and within years became a noted, celebrity reporter for his website “PageSixSixSix.com”. He was the Michelangelo of celebrity blogging, Though he dealt with accusations of illegal posts, copyright infringement and false information, he is currently claimed to be one of the greatest celebrity bloggers of our generation. According to ratings in April 2009, his website has been ranked the 491^st “most trafficked website on the internet” and 143^rd in the US. You may be baffled- “Who is this Cuban-American with a top-ranked blog?” His name to the world is Perez Hilton. He is legendary for his celebrity news, negative coverage, personal doodling, shameful photographs, and theme of “say all and hide nothing”. He is the queen of the celebrity “blogosphere”, his success rooting from his talkativeness and bright, open spirit. He left his BFA in drama at NYU, and like the googly-eyed youth craving Hollywood, headed for the beautiful lights of LA. He went from media assistant for the GLAAD rights organization to managing editor for gay magazine “Instinct”, and it only took him a few years before he started writing to the world. Perez wanted to mingle with celebrity culture, and after becoming a small part of the L.A. scene, he found this was the easiest manner.  His style is mature yet entertainingly childish. What makes his website enticing is his quick, interesting information, as he updates every twenty to thirty minutes, simultaneously adding personality and pizzazz with doodles. His captions and posts are humanly imperfect, which is what draws readers. Hilton’s personality shines through as he uses exclamation marks, question marks, capitalization, and curse words. He is gossiping through text messages to a friend about a recent scandal and dispersing it on screen. His news is based on spicy buzz and ongoing stories, making you crave his words now that he has become part of your life.

Mario reaches out to all with his quirky, eccentric attitude, which is the writing style I’d like to assimilate with my computer-generated journal. His website wouldn’t be ranked so high if his originality was recycled. His records demonstrate 8.82 million page views in a 24-hour period during its origin two years ago. The responsive comments range from five to two hundred or more for every photo. An example of his diction and style can truly be depicted through recent posts regarding the belligerent, sassy actress, Lindsay Lohan. He reports a picture of her as she relaxes in the back of her chauffeured car, yet reportedly hits a paparazzi, leading to another dramatic case of “LOLhan.” The hilarity of his posts lies in the sarcastic comments, such as “high as a kite,” as he describes the occurrence. This technique allows you to see his perspective while remaining politically correct and not making accusations that could potentially be false. Another intriguing website tool is his own, personalized rating system. When reporting on the big winners of the music industry for the collective 2009, he not only gives information on albums sold and chart records, but creates categories for “Hits and Misses” such as ‘Blockbuster’, ‘Big Hits’, ‘Disappointing’ and ‘Bombs’. The captivating factor is that he says what you think, never to be announced in another source of media. A category at the Grammy’s titled “Terrible Music Award” simply wouldn’t exist. This is why his edginess and freedom of speech allure people, who also enjoy criticism and want to read a compatible thought process.

He has so many fans, and so little time to react, write, and draw before competing news outlets. He gives us laughs and conversation starters. He is the man on his computer at all times like white on rice. Thank you, Perez Hilton, for making us chuckle when we think our lives are often times an utter embarrassment. At least we know you won’t report it to the media.

Goodbye Conservative, Hello Honesty!   (Paper 3: Voice Critique)

Digs up the Hollywood dirt. Fearless. Pink Hair. Yes, I am talking about the queen of gossip, PerezHilton.com himself. He is the loony, eccentric man who seemingly knows absolutely everything, often times a little too much. His diction is unconventional and slightly strange, yet intrigues the millions of viewers and draws them to his hot pink website day to day like a moth hypnotized by light. He is always there, reliable like a parent, to comfort you with his pictures, doodles, odd choice of capitalization, punctuation and made up words. The website header represents the Hollywood Hills sign, yet has replaced it with his “name.” I find this metaphorically resembles how he thinks of himself- he IS Hollywood. He represents it. He knows it. He breathes Hollywood! His sarcasm bleeds through the black words on the page like an open wound. I can see his humorous outrage over the idiocy of celebrities leaving a club intoxicated, or his utter happiness when he is able to provide a story to his audience right off the streets like freshly baked cookies out of the oven. You can see through his excitement that he takes pride in his information and tells the world with a sassy revealing.  Like a five year old to another, tongue sticking out and a look of pleasure in his eyes: “I’m right. You’re Wrong.” Can you see it? Yes, that kind of attitude. There are a handful of examples of his quirky character combined with this sense of “I’ll do and say whatever I want.” In one post alone, he uses multiple exclamation marks, and creates a dictionary of his own (not gonna lie to you, I do this all the time, as do numerous other children in Generation Y who are to lazy to say long words. So, we just mash them together), all while feeding us what we’re rummaging through the internet to find. He reveals:

“…resulting in over 50 arrests for drunk and disorderly behavior, and 6 ambulances being called to the venue to take care of the drunks and the drugged.

Holy SHIZ!!!

As if the story couldn't get any crazier, Inspector Mike Coleman, apparently one of the most CHILLAX cops ever, insists the amount of debauchery was "not bad, (for) a full moon and a nice hot night."

No one over fifty would comfortably speak these words, let alone know what they mean or how to translate them into proper English. The reason we are fascinated with his language is because it’s how we speak, it’s how we communicate. His choice of words and short stories can often be related to a secret code. Something fun for us to engage in that only a certain age group can understand. Perez delivers quality and credibility with his proof of photographs. He is never without a visual, which is the most crucial part! Honestly, would you read a magazine if it didn’t have pictures? We were raised by picture books from the age we could open are eager eyes, and the excitement still occurs years later. He curses. He draws scandalous artwork. He announces a statement and puts it out for us tigers to rip it apart. He is simply there to give you his point of view and have you agree with him by the end of the statement. He’s manipulative but creative. He knows how to create a response with his kooky titles and blatant opinions, which keeps his audience coming for their daily vitamins from the “juice.” On an article for Kristin Cavallari, he reveals his disgust with her with a powerful coupling of words and extreme bias. He doesn’t care. He has no regard for consequence. And we love it. He stated:

 “We say, BLAME KRISTIN CAVALLARI!!! Things were just peachy before that bitch showed up! We know you're with us, Audrina Patridge! Thank goodness you're getting your own show!”

His posts are hypnotic as he uses subliminal messaging with aggressive words like “blame” and “bitch”. Scandalous? Yes, which is his competitive advantage above similar websites. Legally and against their will, news stations and politically formal websites can’t reveal personal opinions. Legally for Perez- Well, he Is his own rulebook. He wrote the rulebook. He is the creator of a mature R-rated picture book, and he is unstoppable. Goodbye conservatism, Hello honesty!! (Finally). He makes his stories accessible, and just enough for daily fulfillment. Not too much, not too little. Like a drug influence on an adolescent, one time keeps them wanting more. Just one more time, they say. Right? No. So Wrong. Many more times. Like a Pringle: Once you pop, you can’t stop! He might damage your time, but like chicken noodle soup, he’s undoubtedly good for the soul.