Monday, January 25, 2010

The Man, The Legend, The Illiterate Cuban

Everyone starts somewhere. Sorry to break it to the hard-core believers in money one day spurting from your lawn trees, but you cannot be lucky enough to start at the top. Only a select few truly can, and to be honest, it’s probably not you. Whether it’s at the grocery store placing food into plastic and paper bags, brewing complicated coffee orders at the local Starbucks, or cleaning plates as a busboy at a diner while trying to survive off minimum wage, there are the average people who live the average lives amongst many other average people. It’s not glamorous- it’s just what it is. Crazy enough, however, they do survive. Though it seems impossible and outrageous, those minimum wagers do get by, minus the frivolous houses, shiny cars and trendy restaurants. But at what point do you want to desert your dull situation in life and take a risk that could possibly change your life? What if you could fast forward to a few years from now and see what it would be like to quit your job and take a new path? Not saying you should strive to become the next Picasso with your 'art' or the infamous Speidi– As information that would come from the soon-to-be-invented book “Celebrity Drama for Dummies”, Speidi is the equivalent of Spencer and Heidi Montag: the two people in Hollywood who became famous for, well, we’re not exactly sure why. We tend to believe it's because of “The Hills”, where uninteresting couplets of idiots argue about insignificant matters that to some are quite dramatic catastrophes. Regardless, would you try something new in search of a more elegant, stable, notable life?

When the tough gets going, people don’t want to deal with the tough and bail. Normally this is not the way to handle a situation as a mature adult. Leaving your current situation for an easier outlet is always seen as an unconventional, dangerous path that usually results in a moneyless situation and a bottomless pit of no answers nor back-up insurance plans. The genie swirling out of a magic lamp granting three wishes only happens in the magical world of Disney. Which isn’t real. So you should get rid of that idea and stop watching Aladdin if you’re over twelve years old. Either way, this idea of fast-forwarding like a television remote is not possible. Which is why not many people take these types of risks. It’s like gambling in a casino slot machine where the odds are built to be against you. It’s just too risky. On the other hand, there are some people that have faith and take the leap. And for even fewer people, the leap turns out to be the million-dollar jackpot.

One man gave it all up for a shot at victory. He had courage and endured such strife as a gay student, activist, and publisher trying to make a buck and make a difference in East Coast publications. However, one day it turned out to be a dream come true. Not to be so cliché, but for him, his dream was appearing before his eyes on the computer screen. His name is Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr., born and raised in Miami with Cuban parents and a lot to learn. He was taught English once he attended school as an adolescent, attended NYU, and within years became a noted celebrity reporter for his first website “PageSixSixSix.com”. He was the Michelangelo of celebrity blogging which is what made him unique. Though he dealt with accusations of illegal posts, copyright infringement and false information for his latter website, he is still claimed to be one of the greatest celebrity bloggers of our era. According to ratings in April 2009, his website has been ranked the 491st “most trafficked website on the internet”, while achieving 143rd in the United States. Now you may be thinking to yourself, “Who is this Cuban-American with a top-ranked blog?” It’s probably because he doesn’t even refer to himself as Mario. His name to the world is Perez Hilton, and he is legendary in the world wide web of celebrity news, negative coverage, personal doodling, pictures of glamour, pictures of shame, and a man with the theme “say all and hide nothing”. He is the queen of the celebrity blogosphere, his success rooting from his talkativeness and a bright, open spirit. He left his BFA in drama at NYU, and like the googly-eyed youth craving Hollywood, he left Miami and New York for the beautiful lights of Los Angeles. He went from media relations assistant for the GLAAD rights organization to managing editor for gay men’s magazine “Instinct”, and it only took him a few years before he put an end to continuous writing under others’ demands and started writing for the world. Perez Hilton wanted to mingle with the celebrity culture, and after becoming a small part of the L.A. scene, he found this was the easiest way to do so. His style is mature yet a tad childish in an entertaining way, as he speaks his thoughts and draws pictures on the photographs he posts. What makes his website enticing is that it is quick, interesting information, as he updates every twenty to thirty minutes, simultaneously adding his personality and pizzazz with doodles. His captions and posts are imperfect, which is what draws readers to him. Perez’s personality shines through as he uses exclamation marks, question marks, capitalization in random area, and curse words. It is truly as if he is writing a text message to a good friend about a recent scandal between close friends. In a peculiar way, celebrities indirectly have become his friends, and he embodies their actions like a reporter for a news station. Only this news is based on spicier buzz, and you know he’ll be writing when the most recent scandal hits the streets.

Truly, he reaches out to all types of people with his quirky and eccentric attitude, which is the style of writing I like to assimilate when creating my computer generated journal. His website wouldn’t be ranked so high if his originality was recycled. There are those who might secretly spy on his blog creation, or bookmark it for their daily news, and this can be demonstrated through the records of 8.82 million page views in a 24-hour period two years ago in July 2007. The comments in response range from five to two hundred or more for every picture with attached caption, demonstrating the reactions he creates. An example of his diction and style can truly be depicted through recent posts regarding his most entertaining actress to discuss (in the harshest way possible), Lindsay Lohan. He reports a picture of her as she is sitting in the back of a car while being chauffeured around Beverly Hills, yet reportedly hits a paparazzi leading to yet another dramatic case involving “LOLhan.” The hilarity of his posts is the sarcasm, such as “high as a kite,” yet uses the tool ‘strikethrough’ as if he was writing with a pencil. This technique allows you to see his perspective and thoughts while remaining politically correct and not making accusations that could potentially be false. Another intriguing addition is his personalized rating system. When reporting on the big winners of the music industry for the collective 2009, he not only gives realistic information on albums sold and chart records, but creates categories for “Hits and Misses” such as ‘Blockbuster’, ‘Big Hits’, ‘Disappointing’ and ‘Bombs’. What truly captivates the youth is that these ratings are only thoughts, never to be announced in other sources of media. There would never be an existing category at the Grammy’s titled “Terrible Music Award.” This is why his edginess and ability to speak freely allure those who also enjoy criticism and want someone to have a compatible thought process.

He has many fans, and so little time to react, write, and draw before competing news outlets. He catches tigers that escape the circus immediately and delivers the who, what, where, when and why within a matter of minutes. After, he might release them, or he may just take a picture and doodle away to ensure humiliation. Thank you, Perez Hilton, for making us laugh when we think our lives are often times an utter embarrassment. At least we know you won’t report it to the media.

No comments:

Post a Comment